Destination Addiction: What is it & How to Overcome this

INTRODUCTION

Have you ever found yourself planning for your future? Don`t we always plan to do `this` amount of work or earn `this` amount of money regularly to achieve happiness? But have you ever wondered how in doing so, we often stop focusing on the present?

You must know that these feelings are not uncommon, and a myriad of people experiences them. This phenomenon is called `Destination Addiction`.

WHAT IS DESTINATION ADDICTION?

Destination addiction is a term that denotes the belief that happiness can be found sometime in the future or it can be found anywhere else but not in the present.

You might be surprised to know, but the feeling of destination addiction is inculcated into the child earlier than we expect. Whether it is the constant questioning about what a child wants to be when they grow up or being told to study well to get into a good college, children are conditioned to think that their happiness can be found in the future after achieving certain milestones.

As we grow old, every action we do is done to fulfill a future goal. When we make our happiness depend on factors that are in the future and, in a way, out of our control, it leaves very little room for true satisfaction. This happens because when we reach a particular milestone that was supposed to give us happiness, we are too preoccupied with planning for the next milestone rather than enjoying the moment.

People often develop destination addiction because they are going through a difficult phase and are anxious. Having a destination or a goal to look forward to can be motivating at times; however, always looking forward to a better tomorrow should also be accompanied by being grateful for what we have in the present.

Almost every piece of information that is accessible to us about happiness tells us about being content with what we have in the present. In a way, destination addiction is the exact opposite of everything we know about happiness.

So can we say that it is wrong to have a goal or to make plans for a secure future? No. The difference lies in the ferocity with which we plan for the future. When we are so keen on having a secure future, we don`t focus on what we have at hand. Destination addiction forces us to live our lives at a very fast pace.

HOW TO OVERCOME DESTINATION ADDICTION?

As enticing as the proposition of planning a secure future might sound, we need to be thoughtful about everything that is present in front of us as well. Destination addiction is as real as it can get, and several people suffer from it without even realizing that it exists in the first place. However, there are ways to overcome it.

i) Live in the present

As simple as it may sound, living in the present requires a lot of willpower and mental strength. We need to be intentional about living in the present and focusing on the things and the people that are a part of our present scenario rather than constantly fantasizing about how we can make our future better. If a person is in a constant state of dissatisfaction about their current scenario, then nothing can stop them from always planning and making timelines for a better future. In doing so, they often overlook their near and dear ones. They miss out on the important moments and milestones that are achieved by their peers or even by themselves.

We need to understand that our words are powerful. If we set our minds to living in the present and focus on every positive aspect of our life, we will be able to appreciate all the amazing opportunities that life presents us with. People need to clear their minds, take a couple of deep breaths and just be mindful of their surroundings. Often when we do this, we tend to notice the minute things that might bring us happiness which would have gone unnoticed otherwise. We need to take life on a day-by-day basis. We need to wake up in the morning and set our intentions for the day. This can help us stay in a positive frame of mind throughout the day.

ii) Be grateful

Being grateful for everything that is in our possession is a great way to overcome destination addiction. Destination addiction essentially stems from being in a constant state of dissatisfaction with whatever we have in the present moment. However, if we train our brains to be grateful for everything that we have achieved so far, we will be able to fight the urge to constantly ponder about the future. When we start being grateful for what we have in life and the person that we have become, it helps us appreciate all the minute things around us, and it increases our sense of satisfaction.

Various scientific studies have proven that being grateful for all the things that we have in the present leads us to have a positive psychology and a generally positive outlook towards life. Some ways to practice daily gratitude can include maintaining a daily journal. We can write everything we are grateful for in the journal and read the same during times when we feel low or dissatisfied with our lives. Doing these practices can stop us from always thinking about the next big thing. This can help in stopping destination addiction.

iii) Do not compare yourselves with others

Comparison is rightly told by the thief of joy. The moment people start comparing themselves to others, they become devoid of the joys in their life, and they start to pinpoint every negative aspect of their lives. Most of the time, these so-called negative aspects are not even that important. But they are capable of making us feel really bad about ourselves. In today`s time of social media and the rise of celebrity status, it is very easy to find yourself comparing your life with the people you see online. However, we must understand that most of the time, there is little or no truth to the content that is put on social media.

Whenever we find ourselves unnecessarily comparing our lives with someone else`s, we need to acknowledge that thought and try our best to stop thinking about it. Most of the time, the materialistic things that we aspire to when we compare ourselves with other people only provide us with a sense of instant gratification. It cannot lead to a prolonged sense of satisfaction.

To conclude, we need to understand that it is very easy to fall for destination addiction. Once a person falls into this pit, they never seem to get satisfied with their life. However, we need to acknowledge that we suffer from this phenomenon because acknowledgement is the first step towards recovery. Once we know about the presence of this negative aspect in our lives, we can work mindfully towards eradicating it.

If you think you need a therapist to overcome destination addiction then simply download our app connectedminds and talk to certified therapists. Our mental wellness application is available on Android and iOS.